Go up to the organizer of the event. Stick your hand in a hat. Pull out a crumpled up strip of paper. Be extremely anxious or excited. Unfold the paper. Read the name of a person who you know or do not know (either way you have no idea what to give them) and remember
about it for a day or two, after which you will only be reminded of your responsibilities a day or so before the gift exchanging occurs. Feeling this need to buy a present and not leave the person whose name you pulled out of the hat unhappy right before the most celebrated holiday in the world, you decide to go to the mall and pick something up as quickly as possible. Then find some wrapping paper. Try to wrap it up. Fail miserably and ask someone else for help. Bring the gift. Place it under a Christmas tree and wait for the person to unwrap the present to feel just as disappointed in yourself as they do. Of course my view may be a tad censorious, but there are some points that are worth considering before organising Secret Santa.
First off, it must be mentioned that there are several variations of Secret Santa. In the most renowned versions your recipient must not know or even suspect your identity (or at least not before the gifts are exchanged). In other versions, no one reveals who they had to buy for even after the gifts have been opened. As a matter of fact, even the name “Secret Santa” is not set in stone. For example, in the UK the game is known as Kris Kringle. There are several opinions on how Secret Santa rose in popularity, however the most well-known story has to do with Larry Dean Stewart, an American philanthropist and businessman who anonymously gifted 100 dollar bills to people on the street. The entire sum of money that he gave away can only be estimated, however some say that he gave away as much as 1.3 million dollars. Some New Yorkers were even gifted as much as 25,000 dollars after the 9/11 attacks. A real life Santa.
Although all of this sounds amazing, the gifts that are exchanged during Secret Santa do not even come close to 25,000 dollars, or even 100 dollars for that matter. Some companies like Amazon have taken advantage of the game by having a category of Secret Santa gifts, all of which are quite terrible presents no matter the recipient. People would not want to purchase a cheap gift just to disappoint someone and they would not want to buy something expensive either (although expensive gifts can also be disappointing which would make everything even more deleterious). Say you pick out an amazing gift at just the right price. Even then your excitement and joy for your recipient will be overshadowed by the disappointing present you will receive in return. Christmas is all about being kind and giving and we should be satisfied just by making someone else’s day, but come on, no one is that kind.
Just imagine standing there extremely excited to see what your gift is just to see a notepad, or a bunch of stickers. It is like sparring in a boxing ring without being able to defend yourself and constantly getting jabbed in the face, the jabs of injustice. As if it is not bad enough that you have to pretend like the extremely itchy sweater your aunt gave you is a great gift (and yes, that is still a thing), you just have to stand there and endure the suffering.
To sum up this review, all Secret Santa does is take every single bad part about Christmas - additional costs, disappointing presents, Oscar worthy acting - and exacerbates them even more. The one pillar of Secret Santa (the secret) is never even upheld. I have never personally taken part in a Secret Santa where someone was not eager to tell me who they were buying for, and then to hear my recipient also. At first I made a promise I would not tell anyone, but let us be honest, if you actually refuse to say who you got from that (probably unhygienic) hat… “Cheer up, dude. It’s Christmas.”
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